so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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