my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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