OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
only if we run a train.
done.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
