Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
