You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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