I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
false alarm, still single
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
