How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
