spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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