She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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