is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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