garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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