anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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