I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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