I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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