D3 body, D1 cock
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
People in love make me want to vomit
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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