I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
