Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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