like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
