oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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