Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
