I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
