I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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