I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
