Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize