my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
