We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You can't just leave with hair like that
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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