I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
