Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
