Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
