She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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