Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
