In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
