I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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