There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
