Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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