i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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