I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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