I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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