let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
