When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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