This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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