why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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