I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
