Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
