At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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