All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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