ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
