I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
