"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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