Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
