First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
