there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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