thus making me awesome and them whores
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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