Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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