the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize