All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
