I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
