i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
