you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
